A certain amount of bullshitting is to be expected when people draw up their CVs, and MadConomist compiled a list of silly things people actually put on their CVs or job applications.

1. I am very detail-oreinted.
2. It’s best for employers that I not work with people.
3. Here are my qualifications for you to overlook.
4. Seek challenges that test my mind and body, since the two are usually inseparable.
5. I am a rabid typist.
6. I worked as a Corporate Lesion.
7. Special skills: Thyping.
8. Previous rank: Senior instigator.
9. Reason for leaving: They stopped paying me.
10. Strengths: Impersonal skills.
11. Graduated in the top 66% of my class.
12. Excellent memory; strong math aptitude; excellent memory; effective management skills; and very good at math.
13. Married, eight children. Prefer frequent travel.

More HERE.