I’ve stepped in a lot of dog shit over the years. One time I trod on some in a car park and inadvertently rubbed it into the carpet of my office. It took a while for the smell to get to my nose, but when it did, I nearly passed out. That was human poo though.

In any case, a good walk in the public parks can easily be ruined by an unsightly poo that an irresponsible dog-owner neglected to pick up. This problem can be prevented with this useful excrement collector. Dubbed the PooTrap, the device consists of a harness that connects to a poo bag which is placed over your dog’s butthole. It might be utterly humiliating for your pet, but when she/he feels the need to evacuate, the faeces fall into the bag. How convenient for you.

I think it’s time to speak to my DA councillor about having the PooTrap passed as a law. I smell a good business opportunity here.