I don’t know about you but I’ve never sent a drunken text message. I know this because most times I don’t even remember having a cellphone, and if I do, odds are I’ve left it at home. But I can imagine that for a number of people waking up from a debaucherous night out, the messages on their cellphones would be a good place to piece together what the hell they did (or who they did) the night before.

Texts From Last Night (TFLN) was founded in Feb ’09 to collect the comedic, embarrassing, and illogical drunken text messages for the whole world to enjoy. Here are some of my picks:

(512): I pooped in a mop bucket.
(1-512): WTF???
(512): Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that

(410): That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
(301): Dude it was a lap dance

(913): very cute, but more “I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet” and less “please bang me” type of cute.

(513): someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
(330): I’ll alert the authorities

(480): allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed

(317): Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.

(508): you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
(978): I guess I misjudged your gender.

(310): I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.

(859): I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
(1-859): Thanks for throwing up on me.

(949): With my blond hair and big tits getting ass is like fishing in a bathtub

See more at TFLN [via Trend Hunter]