New Transformers Revenge of the Fallen Footage!

Autoblog reports that earlier this month the master of loud noises, Michael Bay, released a full two-and-a-half-minute teaser reel for the upcoming Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.

The reel shows hottie Megan Fox changing her clothes – don’t get a stiffy just yet, it’s for 10 seconds and child-friendly to boot. The rest comprises a sobbing Bumblebee, some fighting robots, and a few exploding helicopters. See it below.

Incidentally there is a theory about the number of helicopters in a film being proportional to how much it will suck.

Given the amount of exploding helicopters that are bound to be in it, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen may suck harder than a prostitute sucks dick. Let’s hope that is not the case.

Carousel: A Frozen Cops n’ Robbers Shootout

Carousel is a Dark Knight-inspired short film created to celebrate the impending arrival of the Philips Cinema 21:9 LCD, the world’s first cinema proportioned television screen.

Coincidentally 2 minutes and 19 seconds long, Carousel shows an epic cops-and-robbers shootout that is frozen in time. As the ad plays out, the camera moves through the frozen scene revealing different parts of the story. Check it out.

Carousel was created by Stink Digital and directed by Adam Berg who conceived it to work as an endless loop. It’s better viewed on the Philips Carousel microsite.

Visitors to the microsite therefore have the option to spin through the films single take shot repeatedly, to stop on a specific frame, or to watch it at the preordained speed. The film also contains embedded hotspots, which, when triggered, transport the viewer seamlessly from the heavily posted film to a behind-the-scenes version of the same shot.

[via Neatorama]

Flying High: Prawn1 Goes Tandem Paragliding

Our department at work doesn’t get to go on outings too often, but when we do, the rest of the company is left in a jealous rage when they find out what we got up to. This time, I suggested and got tasked with organizing the team outing – tandem paragliding. I knew we could jump off Lion’s Head in Cape Town, and our landing site had to be in close proximity to alcoholLa Med in Clifton fitted that bill perfectly. So I knew the start and end points, and just needed to find someone to make the flight happen. After a few calls, we went with booking agents Cape Xtreme Adventure Tours.

We got to the Lion’s Head parking lot a little earlier than expected (thanks Rikki Taxis), so I calmed the mood by smoking several fags whilst waiting for the tandem paragliding pilots to rock up. They arrived on time, and we proceeded to walk up the mountain to the jump point. I’m not the healthiest dude around – let’s just say I won’t go to a gym if there isn’t an escalator to the entrance – so the trek was as pleasant as finding cat vomit in your shoe.

At the jump point, we got assigned to our pilots – I got the uber-cool Stephan, owner of Cape Town Tandem Paragliding, who explained the procedure to me and harnessed me up. Luckily I had a harness that didn’t squish my sugar lumps, so that was all good. We laid out the paraglider wing, and before I knew it, I was fastened in front of Stephan, the paraglider was airborne, and my feet had left solid ground.

I’m terrible at describing things and emotions, but the flight was absolutely phenomenal – Stephan piloted us up and around the mountainside, then zipped back towards the sea, and at places the paraglider just floated there, giving me a fantastic view of the surrounding mountains, city suburbs, and the vast sea and gathering clouds ahead.

It was so quiet and peaceful up there that I didn’t want to come down. But we had to descend, and after a few spiral drives, we touched down softly on the grassy pitch next to the bar. Even though we had been up for a while, it seemed so short, and the moment we landed, I wanted to do it again. And I will…soon.

Big thanks to Guillaume at Cape Xtreme Adventure Tours and Stephan at Cape Town Tandem Paragliding for making this an awesome and memorable experience :-D

[Photos by D. Campbell]

Battlestar Galactica – It’s not the end!

I’m one of those hopeless people that gets all depressed and a little crazy when one of their favourite TV series comes to an end. You should have seen me after the finale of the first season of Lost – hatters weren’t in it mate. I couldn’t sleep at night because I hadn’t gotten my weekly dose of jungle drama, spent all day wondering what was happening to Sayid and Kate and Jack on that godforsaken piece of rock in the middle of nowhere, talked about all the characters all the time to anyone who would listen including the cats – I think I pretty much took my whole household down crazy street with me.

Anyway Lost has been replaced in my affections by the brilliant and gripping Battlestar Galactica. We watched the last episode ever the other night, and as you may have guessed, I’ve been feeling pretty down (although that might also be the gentle caresses of PMS). Today I was reading some arb non-sense about second hand smoke and one of those nearly always awful advertising banners caught my eye. Usually I can just zone that crap out, but this one was different, special even. It was advertising  a spin-off of my beloved Battlestar Galactica, and it’s called Caprica. Oh yes oh yay. The series is a prequel of sorts, set 58 years before the holocaust at the hands of the dreaded Cylons on the planet Caprica. It might not be as good as Battle Star Galactica – some people are bitching about it already, but I can’t wait to see it nonetheless.

Here for your viewing pleasure is a sneaky preview.

Or you can watch in here at YouTube.

Aussie Artist Has Ear Grafted Onto Left Arm

It appears this Cypriot-born Australian man isn’t your average performance artist. The Telegraph reports that the unconventional Mr Stelios Arcadiou, going under the stage name Stelarc, believes that the human body has become obsolete, and his latest work aims to make physical enhancements to the body through technology.

And if the title didn’t give it away, the 62-year old has an ear implanted in his left forearm. Apparently the appendage was grown in a laboratory from stem cells and considering plastic surgeons do not perform clinically unnecessary surgeries, it took him 10 years to find one willing to perform the procedure.

That extra ear is not merely for decoration. Once it has fully developed he wants a install to install a microphone and a bluetooth transmitter in the ear so that people can go online and listen to what it is hearing.

“If you telephone me on your mobile phone I could speak to you through my ear,” he explains, “But I would hear your voice ‘inside’ my head. If I keep my mouth closed only I will be able to hear your voice.”

He adds: “This additional and enabled EAR ON ARM effectively becomes an internet organ for the body.”

Crazy shit. If you wanted to graft a part of your body onto your arm, what would it be? Drop us a comment.

Flash Game Friday: Neon Disks

I’ll soon be jumping to my death taking the most awesome flight of fancy off Lion’s Head.I forgot my security blanket (a tub of lavender gel) at home so I’m a little on edge. It’s pretty difficult to think about much else, so here’s a quick submission for Flash Game Friday.

Created by alphabetgamer, Neon Disks is a physics-based skill game where you need to light up all the disks in a level by firing balls at them. You have a limited amount of balls that can be fired, so use them efficiently. At the end of each level, you can select a helpful upgrade to use.

Play Neon Disks at Kongregate.

Uncomfortable Plot Summaries

Reading lengthy reviews of your favourite movies and TV shows can be tedious (especially if there are no pictures). Don’t you wish that their plot lines could be condensed into a single sentence? That is the premise behind the game called “Uncomfortable Plot Summaries” which yields some humourous (often cynical) results. Here are some of my favourites:

  • ALIENS: An unplanned pregnancy leads to complications.
  • BATMAN: Wealthy man assaults the mentally ill.
  • DIE HARD: Dysfunctional cop saves marriage by murdering foreign national.
  • KILL BILL: Irresponsible mother wants custody of her child.
  • BLADE RUNNER: Man with no apparent skill stumbles into escaped robots, fails to kill most, fucks one.
  • LORD OF THE RINGS: Midget destroys stolen property.
  • ROCKY: White man beats black man.
  • SUPERBAD: Boys plan date-rape, sleep together.
  • TRANSPORTER: Repressed homosexual kills employers.
  • TERMINATOR: An unplanned pregnancy leads to complications.
  • SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE: Man is betrayed by darker-skinned brother, escapes poverty through blind luck in pursuit of light-skinned woman.
  • TRANSFORMERS: Army lures enormous, hostile aliens into urban area, needlessly killing thousands.
  • CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND: Husband abandons family responsibilities to trespass on military outpost for noisy light show.
  • MEMENTO: Brain damaged people are easy to fuck with, but will eventually kill you.
  • SHOWGIRLS: Women empower themselves through public nudity.
  • LOST: Nothing makes sense.
  • HEROES: With great power comes ridiculous problems.
  • WIZARD OF OZ: What happens over the rainbow, stays over the rainbow.

See many more at (postmodernbarney.com) [via Metafilter]

Shaggy dogs

Just the other day, I found myself a new and surprisingly innocent form of entertainment on the intertubes. They’re called shaggy dog tales, and are usually long involved stories that end with a pointless or plainly absurd punchline. Most of the punchlines are heavy on puns – and y’all know how I love a good pun. My most favourite to date involves some french foreign legionnaires and dessert in the desert, but it’s quite long winded, so here’s one of the shorter shaggy dogs (more of a shaggy puppy I suppose) for your entertainment:

A mother lion and father lion had gone off hunting, and had told their two cubs not to wander away. However, a couple of small wildebeests ambled by, and the young lions could not resist the temptation to try out their own hunting skills. They ran out, chased after the animals, killed them, and started eating them.

Just as the cubs were reaching the end of their meal, the parents appeared in the distance. One of the baby lions turned to the other, and said: “That is the end of the gnus. Here again are the head lions.”

If you liked that one, there are loads more here.

Link Loving – April 16, 2009

There seems to be a shit-storm veering towards my cubicle, and I seem to have misplaced my I-Don’t-Give-a-Fuck helmet. Whilst I contemplate Hari-kiri, here are some links:

  • The best psychopaths in comics – part 1 & part 2.
  • Top 10 very unfortunate x-rays.
  • Two Texas men arrested for stealing 50 pornos from adult store. They are obviously unaware of the Internets.
  • Know your meme: Yo Dawg.
  • It’s Penguin Mayhem! Shoot, steal, and win at all costs in Penguinz.
  • Star Wars vs MacGyver in this opening sequence mashup.
  • A collection of amazing vertical gardens and sky farms.
  • Porn star Aria Giovanni teaches us how to boil an egg – you know how to do this already, but you’ll watch anyway.
  • Shitty ad for toilet paper.
  • Triumph, the cigar-smoking Rottweiler interviews Star Wars nerds. Hilarious and in two parts – part 1 & part 2.

Squirrel-Blasting Device Ignites Controversy

If you have a rodent problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find it, maybe you can buy… The Rodenator Pro.

The Rodenator Pro is the solution to your rodent problem. Described as safe for the environment and “humane”, it works by pumping a controlled mixture of propane and oxygen into the tunnels of unassuming squirrels, and then sending an electric spark that causes an explosion. Apparently the shock waves kill the squirrels and collapse their tunnels.

The local Humane Society of Spokane, Washington are not so thrilled about the idea, calling the explosions unethical and cruel. I bet the homeless are pretty happy though, roasted squirrel must taste great after a day of dumpster-diving.

See the Rodenator Pro in action below. Warning: Squirrels were harmed during the making of this video.

The full story is at The Huffington Post.

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