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Category: Site Announcements (page 2 of 15)

Happy Holidays!

As you read this, know that I have burned the pasta sauce (sugar and peanut butter saved it though) and have made salad for one. It’s the first time in nine years that I have been home alone for the holidays. The voices in my head seems to have taken a break too, so it’s been a rather sobering and lonely experience thus far. Enough of my self-pity though.

Dear reader, whether you’re on vacation or still at work, in the country or otherwise, I do hope that you have a fantastic time with your family and friends in the coming festive days. Whatever you do please be safe, because the world will be a less interesting place without you.

Happy holidays from your friends at Onelargeprawn blog :)

We Review: Dark Souls

Hard, difficult, frustrating, troublesome, tough, problematic, arduous, herculean, vexing, trying, backbreaking, grueling, challenging, tricky, rough, rocky, baffling, fractious, and down-right embarrassing [Ed: You forgot ‘soul crushingly infuriating’]. These are all synonyms for Dark Souls. In the Oxford English dictionary under the word ‘difficult’, the definition simply says; ‘Dark Souls’. I have never played anything like it; it’s unique. At first I used all the above words and many unprintable ones to describe it, often at the top of my voice and sometimes through my teeth, hissing in frustration. But with time I gradually found other words for Dark Souls; reward, respect, learn, skill, elation, win, gratifying, gain, reach, advance, make headway, satisfying, enjoy, rise, and earn it! Find out how Dark Souls beat me down, tore me a new one, and then slowly built me back up and won me over… after the jump. Read more

We Review: Beat Hazard Ultra (PSN)

Top-down shooters…who DOESN’T love them? Much in the same way that ghosts and pellets are the main dietary source for yellow blobs that only know one sound effect, shoot-’em-up games have been a staple of video gamers since before video gamers were called that. This particular genre been somewhat in decline in recent years, and I’ve become thoroughly sick of Geometry Wars and Super Stardust HD. So it was with pure pleasure and frisson that I picked up Beat Hazard Ultra. Find out just how much of a blast it is, after the hyperspace jump. Read more

Competition Time! Win a copy of Mercury Hg for Xbox 360!

We haven’t had a nice, fun competition in a long time, have we? We underlings figured that, since Lord Prawn is not keeping too close an eye on things here at Prawn Central (himself being over in Sri Lanka at the moment), we’re going to bestow upon you, Our Awesome Readers, a prize: Mercury Hg for Xbox 360 (courtesy of UTV Ignition Games). That’s right! You can win yourself the very game that was just reviewed here! The caveat, of course, is that we’re going to require you to read the entertaining review! Nothing for nothing, as they say! So get reading. We’ll wait.

Done? Did you see the part about the banana? Good. Bananas always have such high comedic value, no matter where you stick them.

So, to win, all you have to do is this: leave a comment in this post telling us what your favourite element of the periodic table is, and why. Don’t comment your entries in the review’s post—it won’t be counted. The judges will pick the most creative answer, and award that lucky person a download code for Mercury Hg for Xbox 360! You can also help us spread the word of the competition by tweeting the following:

#OneLargePrawn is giving away #MercuryHg for Xbox360. I’m in to win! You can too!

After all, more readers means more competitions!

The standard rules apply: no active contributor to this site or their direct families allowed to enter, one entry per person, etc etc. Read the rules if you’re in any doubt. Now get cracking! You have until Wendesday 9 November, 2011!

We Review: Mercury Hg (PSN | XBLA)

Mercury Hg (I know it’s tautological—you won’t believe the number of people who insisted on telling me this!) is the latest puzzle-slash-rolling platformer game in a series that started life as Archer Maclean’s Mercury on the PSP. Find out whether this game is completely Boron, a pain in the Arsenic, or pure, unadulterated Gold: after the Br…eak. Read more

We Review: Rocketbirds Hardboiled Chicken (PS3)

ROCKETBIЯDS: Hardboiled Chicken is a new platform shooter game for the PS3, available for download only on the PSN. You can almost never go wrong with a good platform game, and platform shooters are even better. Even if the name of the game is actually pronounced “rocketbiyads”. [Ed: By the same token, smartass, your word “review” in the title image is supposed to be pronounced “reviesch”, so it goes both ways.] Does Rocketbirds share the brilliance of other platform shooters? Hit the jump to find out.  Read more

We Review: X-Men Destiny (PS3 | Xbox360 | Wii | NDS)

Superhero games are one of those strange phenomena where things could be amazing, or they could be terrible. In the former category, for example, we have the wonderful Batman: Arkham Asylum. In the latter category, we have the infamous Superman 64, arguably the worst comic-to-video-game adaptation in existence. Superman 64 was so bad, in fact, that MTV Gamer’s 2.0 rated it the No. 1 worst game of 1999. I am fairly certain that the only game worse than Superman 64 is 1982’s E.T. The Extraterrestrial for the Atari 200 console, a game that was so bad that Atari actually buried the cartridges in a landfill in New Mexico (Wikipedia), and might actually have been responsible for the great Video Game Crash of 1983 (Wikipedia). Imagine how ridiculously unplayable a game must be to actually crash an entire market sector. Thankfully, X-Men Destiny is not as bad as Superman 64, and certainly not as terrible as E.T., as much as certain other reviewers would have you think that is the case. Is it any good at all, though? One brave reviewer, armed with nothing more than a video game controller and an iron constitution, ventured into the world of X-Men to find out. Read more

We Review: Gears of War 3 (Xbox 360)

“Brothers to the End”. That’s the tagline of the last instalment of the Gears of War trilogy. And yet, despite that fact, there are clearly some sisters in the game as well. That’s a large, misogynistic oversight there. Still, that can be forgiven if the game is any good. Ah, who am I kidding? You already KNOW the game is good; but do you want to know just HOW good? Find out after the jump. Read more

Going Home

Ayubowan. That means “hello” in the language of my people. It’s a goodbye from me however, for a short time, as I travel to the land of my birth. For the next two weeks, I’ll be trying to adjust to the oppressive weather and odd asian accents as I visit family on the island of Sri Lanka.

Here’s a map of my sure-to-be restless flights from Cape Town to Johannesburg to Doha, and finally to Colombo.

View Flight in a larger map.

I can’t be certain of Internet access there, so this blog may lay fallow in my absence, aside from the various game reviews that we are obliged to publish.

I may post occasionally to Twitter, so if you’d like to chat to me, direct your tweets to @onelargeprawn. If you were there in the beginning and still remain a loyalist, you can also say ayubowan to me on Google+.

Until next time my friends.

Onelargeprawn Goes to rAge 2011

Good news, everyone! Most of you South African readers will probably be aware that rAge, the Southern African video game expo, is going to be happening this weekend. Happy for you, will be represented at rAge 2011. Well, not the Lord High Prawn himself, sadly for you fans of His Prawniness, but his loyal lackey. And we won’t have a stand, sadly (we’re simply not that big), but you will find me wandering around, taking notes, taking pictures, and taking an opportunity to meet any and all who are going to be at the Coca Cola Dome this Saturday. If you see someone on the show floor who looks a lot like this [ed: don’t you mean precisely like this?]:

then come say hi, introduce yourself, and we can chat about…well…pretty much anything. Also, if I happened to have upset you with one of my reviews, please don’t hit me. I’m sure we can come to some agreement. Feel free, also, to follow me on Twitter, because I’ll be tweeting from the event (not that every other blogger in ZA won’t be, but anyhow!)

Hope to see you there!