Awesomeness Cautionary Tales Featured Gaming News Video Clips

A Tale of Cheerleaders, Chainsaws, and Zombies

Humanity has been battling the living dead for decades, it seems like bloody forever. These fetid corpses have invaded many facets of our lives including the novels and comics that we read and TV series and movies that we watch. The games that we play aren’t safe either. Frank West beat them off with practically anything he could find, while Isaac Clarke dispatched zombies in space using his considerable talents in dismemberment. Jill Valentine fought off the freakish mutants of the Umbrella Corporation, and the average homeowner even had to repel a zombie attack through the strategic use of potted plants.

And now it seems we humans may have yet another champion against the zombie horde. From the completely off-kilter mind of Suda51 (see our Shadows of the Damned review) comes a tale of 18-year-old Juliet Starling who must rid her high school of a nasty case of the zombies. This is a task that she seems to relish, thanks to her wickedly awesome chainsaw. Also, she has bizarrely chosen wear her rather revealing cheerleading uniform, one would assume that is to minimize the amount of blood splashed on her clothes. Did I mention that the disembodied head of her boyfriend serves as a sidekick? There is bound to many a gratuitous upskirt shot, sexual innuendo by the metric ton, and outrageous amounts of blood and guts, so nothing that should come as a surprise from a Suda51 game. Have a look at the debut trailer to Lollipop Chainsaw below.

Lollipop Chainsaw releases on PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360 in 2012. If you’re on Twitter, follow @lollichainsaw.

[via PS3ZA]

Movie Reviews

We Review: The Green Hornet

Every once in a while a movie comes along that really inspires awe in the movie-goer. It’s fast paced, action packed and really loves to play with your nerves. It tugs at your heart strings and it even inspires you to do greater things with your life.

So what would you do if I told you Green Hornet does none of these things?

Don’t believe me?  Check out the full review after the jump.

Game Reviews

We Review: Assassin’s Creed Brotherhood

It seems to be my turn to review nothing but sequels, so in that vein, Assassin’s Creed Brotherhood (not Assassin’s Creed 3—this is an interim game) is the direct sequel to Assassin’s Creed 2. When I say “direct sequel”, I mean that the story resumes quite literally seconds after the action in the previous game stopped, so I guess you could say it’s the final chapters of Assassin’s Creed 2. The biggest selling point of Brotherhood is the multiplayer aspect, but surprisingly, it’s not the biggest part of the game; Brotherhood still has a fairly chunky single player campaign. Let’s take a stab at reviewing this game, shall we? More after the jump.

Featured Game Reviews

We Review: Fable III

It should come as very little surprise to anyone that Lionhead Studios’ Fable 3 is the sequel to the hit game, Fable 2. It should also come as very little to no surprise that, like its predecessor, the game is an action RPG set in the land of Albion, a place filled with high adventure that’s beyond compare, magic and mystery that’s part of its history, and copious quantities of gummiberry juice potions. Find out whether this game bounces here and there and everywhere after the…jump.

Featured Game Reviews

We Review: Castlevania: Lords of Shadow

Konami has been making Castlevania games for 24 years now. They have legions of fans and followers. I was not one of them, you see when all the cool kids were cracking whips and kicking vampire ass on their NESs and SNESs, I was relegated to the pitiful Sega Master System. Our other reviewer TyrannicalDuck is far more interested in the franchise but sadly he was taken ill with the flu when this review copy of Castlevania: Lords of Shadow arrived. So I thought I’d give it a bash seeing as I’m now a cool adult and possess a console that is able to run the game.

Being a newcomer to the franchise I have no preconceived notions of what a Castlevania game should be, and having chatted to TyrannicalDuck it seems people are wondering how this can be called a Castlevania game when there isn’t a hint of free-roaming nor does perpetual antagonist Dracula show up as the end-of-game boss. Another thing, it’s not canon – this reboot by relatively unknown developer, MercurySteam, has nothing to do with the rest of the franchise. OK, fine. Instead of Castlevania: Lords of Shadow we could call it Gabriel “Lesley” Belmont: Melancholy Monster Slayer but it still won’t change the fact that it’s an absolutely fantastic game. So now, you know my feeling about it right off the whip. If that’s all the affirmation you need then feel free to stop reading here and hunt down the game at the nearest shop, but if you want to hear more about the innards of this entertaining action adventure title, then my review continues after the jump.

Featured Game Reviews

We Review: Enslaved: Odyssey to the West

Set 150 years from now, assuming 2160 AD, there was a colossal war on planet Earth. Combat mechs were designed to play out the war, but when it ended, nobody told them. Now these mechs ravage the lands, still following their century old instruction.

Our story starts you off as a prisoner on a Pyramid slaver ship. The hero then attempts to trail another prisoner who had a head-start on the escape and ends up being ejected off the ship with the aid of a escape pod (I say aid very lightly), to notice that the young woman has beaten him to it.

After the hard crash landing you wake up in a blur to find that she has equipped your forehead with an electronic crown of sorts. It turns out that it is a slave device, which commands you to the will of the slaver. She announces herself as Trip, a member of one of the larger tribes left on earth, who now wants to make her way home with our help. Not that we have a choice, because no one likes dying from an aneurism.

The hero, Monkey (Voiced by Andy “Gollum” Serkis), is a wanderer who travels the land for food and fuel, is now bound to Trip. Equipped with a plasma staff he has to battle his way through impossible battles with mechs of all proportions. The staff also doubles as a rifle of sorts where he is able to target and shoot enemies from a distance.

The +1, Trip (Voiced by Lindsay Shaw), is a computer wizard who helps Monkey through the adventure in every aspect. Be it with scanning environments, combat assistance, or just generally not getting involved.


Alright it is time now to get into the “nitty gritty” of things. The adventure continues after the jump.

Awesomeness Gaming News Video Clips

Gears of War 3: Brothers to the End

I like Gears of War. I can empathize with characters as I too know a thing (or two) about loss. In late 2007, my first Xbox 360 succumbed to the dreaded RROD plague within a mere three days of receiving it. The replacement lasted a little longer, but in the dark days of April ’08, that too was mortally wounded. My second replacement has been working great since then, for the very few times I switch it on. It’s in hibernation you see, patiently waiting for epic exclusives. ;-)

Epic Games’ Cliff Blezinski officially unveiled the finale part of the Gears of War trilogy yesterday on the Late Night with Jimmy Fallon TV show. It was accompanied with the first teaser trailer to the game, a haunting little clip entitled “Ashes to Ashes”. Marcus, Cole, Dom, and what looks like a lady COG are having another day from hell. It’s a desperate situation all-round. Check it out below.

Gear of War 3 will be released on April 8th, 2011 in Europe and the rest of the world.

[via Kotaku | wallpaper by korsaneko]

BONUS: The song used in the debut trailer is called “Heron Blue”. Listen to the full version here.

UPDATE: The lady-looking COG is indeed a lady and not a feminine man who escaped from the Final Fantasy universe. Her name is Anya according to Blezinski’s status update on Twitter. There you have it folks, consider this as an end to the Gears of War sausage-fest.

Featured Game Reviews

We Review: God of War III

My god this review is horribly late. It’s so late that even the fast-talking reviewer Yahtzee famous for his tardiness has gotten his done. I’d tell you it’s worth the wait, but the last time a waitress told me that at an Indian restaurant, my food was far from tasty.

By now, you’ve probably played-finished-loved it so whilst you’re here, feel free to read on and compare notes with us. However, if this is your first time hearing about it, join us as we ride along with the Ghost of Sparta in his quest for vengeance in God of War III.

The full review is after the jump.

Awesomeness Featured Music Video Clips

Gorillaz vs Bruce Willis

Taken from the Gorillaz‘ recent album Plastic Beach, the music video for the track Stylo has the cartoon band tearing through the desert. Murdoc’s at the wheel, 2D looks terrible, and Noodle is nursing a bullet hole through his head. The misfits are on the run from the police, but they have someone more terrible and sinister on their tail … the bald-headed badass, Bruce Willis.

Have a look at Stylo below.

[via The Awesomer]

Gaming News

Naughty Bear is Mad, Seeks Bloody Revenge

Teddy bears are so cute and cuddly that you just want to pinch their cheeks. Naughty Bear hates that generalization, but do you know what he hates more? Not being invited to another bear’s birthday party. He’s so mad he could spit axe somebody.

Developed by Artificial Mind and Movement (they made WET), Naughty Bear is an upcoming open-world action-adventure title that has you playing as the shaggy psychopathic bear, trying to hurt the other adorable bears on Paradise Island, and earning “Naughty Points” along the way.

Have a look at the teasers after the jump.