Cautionary Tales Hints & Tips Weirdness

Light my fire


Oh I love these kind of stories. As teenagers, my sister and I used to take great delight in combing magazines and newspapers (this was long before the interweb) for grotesque Agony Aunt columns and weird stories of sexual misadventure, revenge or jealousy that ended in disaster. You know the ones that go something like “woman bites off lover’s tongue in passionate embrace”, or “Dear Aunt Rhoda my girlfriend says she can’t love me anymore because I have genital warts”, that sort of thing. The whole Bobbitt episode kept us laughing for months. Well I’m not sure if I exactly love this particular story because someone actually dies, however it is morbidly fascinating nonetheless.

An Australian woman has been arrested and is going to be charged with murder after she doused her sleeping husband’s penis with something like metholated spirits and set it on fire. The unfortunate man allegedly woke up and knocked the bottle of meths over which helped the fire to spread rapidly from his privates to engulf the couple’s entire residence. As you may have guessed, Mr Crispy was cheating on his wife, and unluckily for him she found out and sought her fiery revenge. The fire starter has issued a statement saying that it was not her intention to kill her husband, all she wanted to do was claim his penis as hers only and forever by horribly disfiguring it!

This burning issue courtesy of the Daily Express.