Awesomeness Featured Game Reviews

We Review: God of War: Ascension

Kratos is back. But he might not be the same person you remember from the tumultuous goings-on in God of War III. God of War: Ascension isn’t a continuation; it is actually a prequel to the original game that takes place a few months after Ares played a trick on our anti-hero. Kratos is reeling from his mistakes and hounded by visions. The Ghost of Sparta is pursued and imprisoned by the three great Furies for breaking his blood oath to Ares. Breaking free from his shackled nightmare, Kratos takes his first steps on the long and bloody road to freedom and redemption.

Cautionary Tales Entertainment Featured Music Video Clips

Key & Peele: Dubstep

News of the upcoming Skrillex tour of South Africa reminded me of the comedy sketch duo “Key & Peele”, specifically of an episode where they took on the subject of much mockery: dubstep.

The two men are packing up Key’s apartment and Peele’s suggests that they put on some dubstep to make things go a little faster. Key has no idea what dubstep is and Peele is happy to educate him. And so starts their descent into madness. It’s sweaty, bloody, and all too hilarious. Check out Key & Peele: Dubstep below.

[via @arteechoke]

Arty Cautionary Tales

RED: A Bloody Reimagining of “Little Red Riding Hood”

Created by filmmakers Jorge Jaramillo and Carlo Guillot, RED is a modern and brutal re-telling of the Little Red Riding Hood fairy tale. In this sinister short film, Little Red Riding Hood is on the run from the big bad wolf. The wolf bears down on the little girl and with no lumberjack to come to her assistant, Little Red Riding Hood must take matters into her own hands.

RED is dark, moody, bloody, and with arresting soundtrack to match. See it below.

[via Ufunk]

Game Reviews

We Review: The Darkness II

There are few things more awesome than controlling demonic tentacle arms with murderous intent, accompanied by a dwarf-sized gargoyle sidekick who wears the union jack like a dress and has a cockney accent to match. Unless of course said tentacles come with a disturbed inner voice and a mind of their own. The Darkness II offers you all of this, in a familiar yet unique presentation. Find out what I thought of it after the break.

Cautionary Tales Eating and Drinking Entertainment Featured Video Clips Weirdness

Pizza Boomerang is Deadly to Penises

Picture the scene. A He-Man-esque super hero waits patiently for his pizza to warm up in the microwave. Fearing the fast food might be a little too hot, our hero flings it from his home planet towards the earth. Thus begins the utterly bizarre journey of Pizza Boomerang, a pizza so epic that it could slice your penis off.

[thanks Andy!]

Awesomeness Cautionary Tales Movies Video Clips Weirdness

Heads Blowing Up

Supercuts are a dime a dozen these days so you have to pick the ones relevant to your interests. Heads blowing up is certainly one of mine.

That bloody montage was brought to you by Cinemamassacre. Be sure to read the Your Head A Splode tv trophe, it’ll blow your mind…

[via Live For Films]

Animal Kingdom Science & Technology

Oh Look! The Vasculature of a Porcine Heart

Back in 2007, Flickr user Rob Jones took a photo of the wonderfully intricate mess of veins and capillaries in a porcine heart. With its four chambers and four valves, a pig’s heart is similar to a human one and blood flows through it in a similar way to a human’s.

The image show a porcine heart where the blood was replaced with a plastic substance, and when the tissues surrounding the heart was dissolved, all that remained was the detailed vascular system. Have a look at the full image after the jump.

Useful/Useless Info

How Bloodstain Pattern Analysis Works

A famous blood spatter analyst/serial killer once said, “Blood never lies.” In this infographic, we learn about the characteristics about blood, more specifically when it is spilled during the commission of a crime. See it after the cut.

Awesomeness Risqué Weirdness

Dead Sexy Zombie Pin-Ups

Lord, where are my braaaaiinnsss at? Six months through 2010 and I just remembered about the dead sexy girls that grace My Zombie Pinup’s yearly calendar.

It’s vintage 1950s pin-ups versus classic zombies. We know you’d hit that…with a spade. See this years’ Miss Zombie January through to Miss Zombie December after the jump – possibly NSFW on the account of necrotic flesh.

Featured Movies Video Clips

The “Machete” Illegal Trailer is Muy Loco!

Remember the Grindhouse double feature directed by messieurs Tarantino and Rodriguez, and fake trailers that were shown in between the two flicks? We won’t blame you if you don’t remember, it was so 2007.

One of those fake trailers is not so fake and soon we will get to see the grizzled Mexican-America Danny Trejo in his first ever feature film. He’ll be playing “the wrong Mexican to fuck with” in Robert Rodriguez’s exploitation flick, Machete. In it, the former Mexican federale accepts a murder contract from a shady businessman, gets double-crossed, and with help from some unsavory friends, attempts to hunt down the bad guys like bleeding dogs in the snow. The teaser trailer hit the Internet today and is crazy-fun, check it out below.

Rodriguez wrote Machete in 1993 with Trejo in mind but didn’t get around to making it until recently. Machete stars a set of great old-school (old being the operative word) actors in Robert De Niro, Cheech Marin, and Don Johnson. Mr Crime-Vision himself, Steven Seagal, will play a drug lord. The deadly eye-candy will be supplied by Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, and Lindsay Lohan.

Machete will be airing in U.S. cinemas on September 3rd. No word if it’ll make its way down to South Africa.

UPDATE (July 9th): Here’s a brand new trailer:

[via Complex Magazine | Den of Geek]