Awesomeness Gaming News

Donkey Shlong! Playing it Safe With Game Boy Condoms

After many hours of gaming, Niel Bekker over at News 24 Games has learned a lot about the minefield that relationships can be. For example, the virtual world is not as full of slappers as 32-year-old Nico Bellic from Grand Theft Auto IV would have thought. Oh no, he had to wine and dine, learn his lady’s preferences, and endure awkward moments before he got down to the good stuff. We hope he had protection on him, specifically the rad rubbers by designer Ben Marsh.

Although not a real product, his Game Boy themed pack of condoms caters for all tastes and sizes:

  • Ribbed – The Long End of Zelda
  • Heat – Dong
  • Tingle – Bone Zone 2
  • Thin – Super Mario Land of Love
  • X Safe – Sextris
  • Large – Donkey Shlong

Have a look at his set of playable prophylactics after the hump.

Photoworthy Site Announcements

World AIDS Day 2009

I know I come across as a misanthrope because I am one, but I wouldn’t wish HIV or AIDS on my least favourite people (not going to mention names because I just don’t have the money to hire a good lawyer right now and the list would take up loads of space and you’d get bored and probably scared reading it). So peeps please practice safe sex on World AIDS Day and everyday – it’s really not that difficult. Oh and for those smart arses reading this, I know that HIV can be spread other ways, but unprotected sex is the most common way it’s transferred.

On a related note, Prawn and I were at the Ocean View police station last night – long story – and I was really pleased to see that they had loads of free condoms and femidoms prominently displayed right next to the front desk. I couldn’t resist snapping a photo of a rather amusing visual pun created by the profilactics and the station’s notice board, check it … after the jump.

Link Loving

Link Loving – June 3, 2009

I’ve got a metric fuckton of work that needs to be done today or it’s my ass in the sling. Ergo, here are some links for you to chew on.

Oh, and if you haven’t done so already, don’t forget to enter our Love Jozi t-shirt giveaway. It ends midnight June 7th.

Cautionary Tales Video Clips Weirdness

The Top 10 Strangest Condom Ads

Because purchasing that pack of extra-ribbed, glow-in-the dark, strawberry-scented condoms can be an awkward, paranoia-filled experience, it makes perfect sense that condom advertisements would be equally as strange.

Spike breaks down the top 10 strangest condom ads around the world. Here are three of my favourites:

Scare Tactics

Unprotected sex can have deadly consequences and Argentinean condom maker Tulipan presses that point their “Be Careful” campaign depicting gratuitous skeleton sex.

Bollywood Condom Movie

In India, condom ads are delivered in such a way to have mass effect – by song-and-dance! In this epic 7-minute commercial, four grown men dressed up in coloured condom suits traipse across the lands with their troop of backup dancers, singing and dancing about the “ever useful friend to you”.

Bunny in a Jar

From Spain comes an ad for Control Adapta condoms. From the look of it, these condoms come with so much lube one could possibly use the excess to stuff a bunny in a jar.

See the full list at Spike – via Asylum.