Useful/Useless Info

I’m 16,380,366 Minutes Old

So that makes me a millionaire in a sense. You’re probably one too – check out Paul Sadowski’s Birthday Calculator for fun facts about you and your birthday. I thought I’d share some of mine with you:

You were born on a Tuesday under the astrological sign Cancer. Your Life path number is 4.

I have no clue what life path number 4 actually means but according to numerology, I entered this plane with a natural genius for organizing, fixing, and making things work. I also have the ability to carry out orders with dedication and perseverance, and my will power is often mistaken for sheer stubbornness. I’m loyal and devoted, but can be dogmatic at times, and tend to get caught up in the daily routine of affairs, missing the big picture.

Your fortune cookie reads: It takes more than good memory to have good memories.

No wonder I have totally rubbish memories – I barely remember what happened last week.

Your Native American Zodiac sign is Woodpecker; your plant is Wild Rose.

A wild rose eh? Pretty to look at but prickly if you touch me the wrong way. Yup, that’s about right.

Your lucky day is Monday.

Bullshit. What good has ever come out of a Monday, with the exception being a winner on our Onelargeprawn giveaways? I can’t even enter those.

Your birthstone is Alexandrite.

Alexandrite can assist one in centering the self, reinforcing self-esteem, and augmenting ones ability to experience joy.

So, it’s like Viagra then? I’m happy with that. :yes:

Find out about your birthday at the Birthday Calculator.

[via Hongkiat on Twitter]

Competitions Site Announcements

Win an Awesome R2000 Hamper from Mooks!

Note: This competition has ended.

We’re into the final week of June, and it brings not only my birthday but also our last giveaway for this month. And we thought we’d surprise you by not giving away any t-shirts at all. Instead, we got an awesome hamper from our buddies at Mooks!

Created in Melbourne, Australia fashion label Mooks started off in 1991 with a line of t-shirts designs that mixed a tongue-in-cheek twist of pop art, Japanese comics, American College sports, and graphic design. 18 years later and still keeping with the ethos “people creating for like minded people“, Mooks can be found around the world, making streetwear that is new, fresh, and original.

And we’ve got a super-cool hamper to give away to one lucky reader. It includes:

  • A pair of matte black “Charlie” sunglasses
  • An Assembly Overnighter bag
  • A Kaiser beanie

The hamper is valued at R2000 and is by far the biggest prize we’ve had on Onelargeprawn! All the info you need to enter the competition details can be found after the jump. Go to it!

Competitions Site Announcements

It’s T-shirt Giveaway Month!

A pinch and a punch for the first of the month. I never knew what that phrase meant except that I feared the very first day of each month at school. It was all-boys school so there were a lot of punches thrown, and I was always on the receiving end. Funnily enough I didn’t get pinched – we were all under the impression that only girls did the pinching. We also thought they had round vaginas. Oh to be young and clueless – good times.

In any case, half of the year has already gone, and another birthday will soon be upon on me. To celebrate my entrance to the world, we’ve organized giveaways to stretch through the whole month of June! We’ve contacted some sponsors and they’ve generously donated prizes towards our competition. A few details are still to be finalized, but in all likelihood you, our dear readers, will stand a chance of winning t-shirts practically every week of this month! 8-)

More details to follow soon – our very first t-shirt giveaway will be happening in the next hour. Stay tuned.

Cautionary Tales Useful/Useless Info

Hello horoscope


Yes it’s another horoscope – read it though it’s funny.
If you’re a Pisces, HAPPY BIRTHDAY month!

Pisces Feb 19 – Mar 20
You’re stuck in a rut this week, but look on the bright side. At least you’re not stuck in a rut in Bloemfontein. Unless you are, in which case have you considered becoming addicted to morphine?

Aquarius Jan 20 – Feb 18

Your doctor has never seen one that big, but don’t panic. There’s no reason to let it change your daily routine. Except you might want to put a paper bag over it, just so passing women and children stop screaming.

Capricorn Dec 22 – Jan 19
This week you will yearn for the country life. Until you drive into the country and remember that it’s full of shops without fridges selling lukewarm 7-Up and garlic polony.

Sagittarius Nov 22 – Dec 21

A late-night drinking game involving a bottle of Captain Morgan and a tube of KY gel will end in the emergency room, with a doctor confirming that you’ve got a little Captain in you.

Scorpio Oct 24 – Nov 21
You’ll win an important argument at work this week. Your colleague will insist that Porky’s was the worst film the of the 1980s, but history will support you in your claim that it was Caddyshack.

Libra Sep 23 – Oct 23
Remember that your body is a temple. It’s time to kick out the moneylenders, but be careful not to punch a rabbi in the mouth.

Virgo Aug 23 – Sep 22

Your bad sex life is directly related to work stress. Get to the root of the problem. Have sex with your boss.

Leo Jul 23 – Aug 22
Don’t be discouraged by the negativity of your friends. Just because your one true love gave you a fake phone number, took his/her name out of the phonebook, got a restraining order and bought a gun, it doesn’t mean he/she doesn’t see a future with you. One day you’ll make them all see that. Even it means using violence.

Cancer Jun 22 – Jul 22

Remember, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. But a bird in the hand can also make it difficult to brush your teeth or type up important documents. Weigh up your bird options carefully.

Gemini May 21 – Jun 21
Worries at work will reach a climax as whispering behind your back turns to laughter, mime, and finally a float parade featuring burning effigies of you. Stay focused, and it will pass.

Taurus Apr 20 – May 20
Do not under any circumstances trust your horoscope this week.

Aries Mar 21 – Apr 19
Be especially careful around loved ones who are ill. A repeat of last year’s accidental life-support switch-off will not go down well, especially if you again claim you thought it was the plug for the kettle.

Via Hayibo.


Birthday Boys & Girls – 16th January


Thank f*ck it’s Friday. This week has felt a month long.
Happy Birthday if it’s your birthday today. A very special Happy Happy to Noo and Rew – lots of love to you both, and Rew I am kinda sorry about the whole religious persecution thing. Anyway hope you have a blessed day (mwahahahaha!).

Also born on the 16th of January are:

  • 1878 – Pamela Colman Smith was an artist, illustrator, and writer. She is best known for designing the Rider-Waite-Smith deck of divinatory tarot cards used by weirdo cat ladies everywhere.
  • 1884 – Robert J. Flaherty was an American filmmaker who directed and produced the first commercially successful feature length documentary film, Nanook of the North, in 1922. I was subjected to Nanook of the North in history of film classes at varsity – it was fairly amusing.
  • 1906 – Vera Menchik was a British-Czech chess player who gained renown as the world’s first women’s chess champion.
  • 1909 – Richard McDonald was an American fast food pioneer and established the first McDonald’s (obviously) restaurant in San Bernardino, California in 1940.
  • 1935 – Sonny Bono was an American record producer, singer, actor, and politician (US Congressman) whose career spanned over three decades. He was also married to flamboyant Sher.
  • 1942 – Kim Jong-il is the leader of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea. He is a self-proclaimed Internet expert (although he allows no-one else in North Korea internet access on pain of death) and commands the fifth largest standing army in the world. The people of North Korea officially refer to him as the “Great Leader” or “Dear Leader”. Quite a scary fellow if you ask me – plenty of  “potential” there.
  • 1954 – Michael Holding is a former West Indian fast bowler. One of the quickest bowlers ever to play Test cricket, he was nicknamed ‘Whispering Death’ by umpires due to his quiet approach to the bowling crease. He is now a commentator on Sky Sports.
  • 1954 – Margaux Hemingway was beautiful American supermodel, actress, and granddaughter of the more famous Ernest. Her tragic life was marked by psychological and eating disorders, and drug and alcohol abuse. She finally killed herself with an overdose of Phenobarbital in 1996. He grandfather Ernest also had huge problems with substance abuse and committed suicide. Craziness was in their DNA fo sho.
  • 1964 – Christopher Eccleston is an award-winning English stage, film and television actor. He is well known for his roles in such high-profile films as Shallow Grave, Elizabeth, 28 Days Later and Gone in Sixty Seconds, and in 2005 totally rocked the ninth incarnation of the Doctor in Doctor Who.
  • 1979 – Valentino Rossi is one of the most successful motorcycle racers of all time, with 8 Grand Prix World Championships to his name. According to Sports Illustrated, Valentino Rossi is one of the highest earning sports personalities in the world, having earned an estimated $34 million in 2007.

Thanks for the info Wikipedia.

Let me know if you’d like me to add a friend, family member or little ol’ you to our daily birthday lists of (famous) people. Mail me names, years of birth, and what makes you or them famous.

History Risqué Site Announcements

Birthday Girls & Boys – 15th January


Happy Birthday and take it easy this Pooza Thursday!

Also born on the 15th of January are:

  • 1622 – Jean-Baptiste Poquelin, also known by his stage name Molière, was a French playwright and actor who is considered one of the greatest masters of comedy in Western literature.
  • 1816 – Marie-Fortunée Lafarge, was a Frenchwoman who was convicted of murdering her husband by arsenic poisoning in 1840. Her case became notable, because it was one of the first trials to be followed by the public through daily newspaper reports, and because she was the first person convicted largely on direct forensic toxicological evidence.
  • 1906 – Aristotle Onassis, was one of the prominent shipping magnates of the 20th century.He also traded Turkish tabacco into Europe and America making millions, and founded Greece’s national airline,Olympic Airlines. To finance his ships he used a method that he, in his own words, described as utilizing the formula OPM (other people’s money). He is perhaps most well know for being married to Jacqueline Kennedy. He was also previously married to opera dive Maria Callas. A great believer in conspicuous opulence and decadence, his yacht the Christina O was one of the largest private yachts ever, and had barstools upholstered in the foreskins of Minke whales.
  • 1909 – Jean Bugatti, German-born automobile designer who designed amazing three bodies for the beautiful Bugatti Type 57. he also designed the bodies of the Ventoux, Stelvio, and Atalante models.
  • 1929 – Dr Martin Luther King, Jr., African American clergyman, civil rights icon, and recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize. He is best known for his “I have a dream” speech.
  • 1941 – Captain Beefheart, American musician and visual artist. With his band, The Magic Band, he sung and played the harmonica. His compositions are characterized by their odd mixtures of shifting time signatures and by their surreal lyrics. He is now retired from music and has become a painter.
  • 1948 – Ronnie Van Zant, was the lead vocalist, primary lyricist, and a founding member of the Southern rock band Lynyrd Skynyrd. He was killed in an aircrash in 1977.
  • 1965 – Adam Jones, is a three time Grammy Award-winning musician and visual artist, best known for his work as guitarist with the band Tool. Jones was rated the 75th Greatest Guitarist of all time by Rolling Stone Magazine and placed 9th in Guitar World’s Top 100 Greatest Heavy metal Guitarists. He is also credited for most of Tool’s music videos.
  • 1972 – Kobe Tai, is a former pornographic actress of Taiwanese and Japanese heritage.She entered the adult film industry at the age of around 24, and appeared in over 70 films between 1996 and 2003. In addition to her roles in adult films, Tai appeared in the mainstream movie Very Bad Things as a stripper who was accidentally killed at a bachelor party. Tai also did background vocals for Marilyn Manson’s song, “New Model No. 15”, on the album Mechanical Animals.

Thanks for the info Wikipedia.

Let me know if you’d like me to add a friend, family member or little ol’ you to our daily birthday lists of (famous) people. Mail me names, years of birth, and what makes you or them famous.

History Site Announcements

Birthday Girls & Boys – 14th January


Mid-week! Ya-fracking-hoo! HAPPY BIRTHDAY y’all. Hope you have a super day and remember it’s only 3 more days til the freaking weekend.

Also born on the 14th of January are:

  • 83 BC – Marcus Antonius aka Mark Anthony, Roman politician and General, best pals with Julius Caesar, lover of Queen Cleopatra of Egypt. He famously committed suicide and was shortly followed into the afterlife by Cleopatra. Their love story was immortalised by Shakespeare.
  • 1741 – Benedict Arnold, accomplished American Continental Army General and turncoat/traitor during the American Revolutionary War.
  • 1861 – Mehmed VI, last Sultan of the Ottoman Empire, reigning from 1918 to 1922
  • 1875 – Albert Schweitzer, Alsatian, physician, Nobel laureate, theologian, musician, philosopher, and one of colonialisms harshest critics. Famous for founding a free hospital in rural Gabon at a time when most Europeans were only interested in exploiting Africa.
  • 1904 – Sir Cecil Beaton, English fashion and portrait photographer, and Academy Award-winning stage and costume designer for films and theatre. Beaton worked as a staff photographer for Vanity Fair and Vogue , and in addition photographed many members of European royalty and Hollywood celebrities. Royal family. He was a raving bi-sexual but tended towards boys rather than girls.
  • 1941 – Faye Dunaway, critically acclaimed American actress of Bonnie and Clyde, Chinatown, and Network fame. She received Academy Award nominations for Best Actress for her performances in Bonnie and Clyde and Chinatown, before winning the category with her 1976 performance in Network.
  • 1946 – Harold Shipman, English general practitioner (i.e. a doctor) and convicted serial killer. He is the most prolific known serial killer in British history. 236 murders are ascribed to him, though the real number may be much higher, perhaps over 450.
  • 1954 – “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan, American professional wrestler, inventor of the “American patriot” and kidney cancer survivor. He is currently the oldest active wrestler in WWE.
  • 1963 – Steven Soderbergh, American film producer, screenwriter, cinematographer, editor, and Academy Award-winning director. Soderbergh launched his career with the film Sex, Lies and Videotape, but is better known for directing Erin Brokovich, Traffic, and the Ocean’s Eleven franchise.
  • 1968 – James Todd Smith aka LL Cool J, American rapper and actor. LL Cool J stands for “Ladies Love Cool James”. Can you believe that this great big yummy hunk of rapping manliness spent most of his youth singing in the church choir, participating in the Boy Scouts, and delivering newspapers?
  • 1969 – David Grohl, American drummer for the brilliant and all too short lived grunge band Nirava, and frontman songwriter for the almost as good (as Nirvana) Foo Fighters.

Thanks for the info Wikipedia.

Let me know if you’d like me to add a friend, family member or little ol’ you to our daily birthday lists of (famous) people. Mail me names, years of birth, and what makes you or them famous.

History Site Announcements

Birthday Girls & Boys – 13th January

orlando bloom

Hiya and HAPPY BIRTHDAY girls, boys & others. Have a grand day and I hope you don’t have to spend time with a bunch of feck arses like I do.

Also born on the 13th of January are:

  • 1777 – Elisa Bonaparte, younger sister of Napoleon I of France. Apparently she had a sharp tongue and used to tell Napoleon off quite a bit which caused their relationship to be strained at times, nevertheless he made her the Grand Duchess of Tuscany when he annexed it in 1807.
  • 1884 – Sophie Tucker, Russian-born performer who played piano and sang burlesque and vaudeville tunes, at first in blackface (i.e. like a “black sambo”). She said that theatre managers insisted on this blacked up disguise because she was “too fat and ugly” for audiences to endure otherwise. Her sense of humour was legendary, and she sang songs that acknowledged her heft, such as “Nobody Loves a Fat Girl, But Oh How a Fat Girl Can Love”. Her comedic style has influenced some of Hollywood’s funniest women including Mae West, Joan Rivers, Roseanne Barr, and Bette Midler.
  • 1898 – Kai Munk, Danish playwright, Lutheran pastor, and WWII martyr. Munk criticised Hitler and Mussolini’s persecution of Jews during WWII in a Danish newspaper, he was subsequently arrested and assassinated by the Gestapo.
  • 1927 – Sydney Brenner, South African born molecular biologist, huge fan of the soil round worm, and 2002 Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine co-laureate.
  • 1935 – Mauro Forghieri, Italian automotive and mechanical engineer who designed the Ferrari 312 series. While he was Technical Director of Ferrari’s racing department, Ferrari won the driver’s F1 world championship title four times, with John Surtees (1964), Niki Lauda (1975 and 1977), and Jody Scheckter (1979). Ferrari also won the builder’s F1 world championship title eight times.
  • 1949 – Rakesh Sharma, Squadron Leader in the Indian Air Force, first Indian and 138th man to visit space.
  • 1961 – Julia Louis-Dreyfus, American actress, and daughter of a writer and a billionaire business executive. Julia started out her TV career by performing on Saturday Night Live from 1982 to 1985. She then went on to make a lot of money acting as Elaine on Seinfeld from 1990 to 1998. According to Jerry Seinfeld “She cracks you up without breaking your nuts” – apparently she can do the same thing to a peanut M&M.
  • 1977 – Orlando Bloom, English actor, Buddhist, tree hugger, dog rescuer, underwear model dater, Obama supporter. He is most well known for his roles as immortal elf-prince Legolas in The Lord of the Rings and blacksmith Will Turner in the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy. He was equally limp-wristed Troy and Elizabethtown, and only slightly better in Kingdom of Heaven. His is cute though.

Thanks for the info Wikipedia.

Let me know if you’d like me to add a friend, family member or little ol’ you to our daily birthday lists of (famous) people. Mail me names, years of birth, and what makes you or them famous.

History Site Announcements

Birthday Girls & Boys – 12th January


Hello and welcome to a hard boiled wonderland um I mean a whole new week. If today is your birthday, I hope that it’s a really good, stress-free Monday, either that, or you’re still on holiday. You lucky bastards. You share your birthday with some very famous people including our own Groot Krokodil, transcendental guru Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, and my favourite Japanese author Haruki Murakami.

Also born on the 12th of January are:

  • 1856 – John Singer Sargent, American portrait artist
  • 1876 – Jack London, American author of White Fang, Call of the Wild, and other rugged stories of life in American frontier states.
  • 1893 – Hermann Göring, German Nazi official, the “heir” to Hitler’s Germany, and commander of the formidable Luftwaffe.
  • 1916 – Pieter Willem Botha, farm boy, Boer commando, South African prime minister and executive state president, all around ring-wing Afrikaner nationalist and Nazi sympathizer. He also refused to testify at the TRC.
  • 1917 – Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, Indian spiritualist and teacher of transcendental meditation to the Beatles, and countless numbers of hippy students in India, China, USA, Mexico, and the UK.
  • 1923 – Ira Hayes, Pima Native American, US Marine during WWII, and one of six United States service men immortalized in the iconic photograph of the flag raising on Iwo Jima.
  • 1949 – Haruki Murakami, Japanese author of the incredibly profound The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle (one of the most amazing books I have ever read), and many other wonderful books.
  • 1951 – Kirstie Alley, fat again, thin again, fat again American actress.
  • 1965 – Rob Zombie or Robert Bartleh Cummings, American heavy metal musician, founder of White Zombie, successful solo artist, and director of films such as House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil’s Rejects.
  • 1966 – Olivier Martinez, sexy (ish) French actor, and on again, off again lover of Kylie Minogue.
  • 1968 – Heather Mills, painful ex-wife of the even more painful (and least talented Beatle) Paul McCartney.

Thanks for the info Wikipedia.

Let me know if you’d like me to add a friend, family member or little ol’ you to our daily birthday lists of (famous) people. Mail me names, years of birth, and what makes you or them famous.

History Site Announcements

Birthday Girls & Boys – 11th January

Happy Birthday Heskey
Happy Birthday Heskey

Good Morning and HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY to all wonderful Readers born on the 11th January.

Also born on the 11th of January are:
1503 – Parmigianino, Italian artist
1757 – Samuel Bentham, English mechanical engineer and designer of the first arched iron-built bridge over the Thames. He also designer many novel items such as an amphibious vessels for Russia’s infamous Tsarina Catherine the Great.
1895 – Laurens Hammond, American inventor of the Hammond organ
1901 – Kwon Ki-ok, was the first Korean female aviator, as well as being the first female pilot in China.
1903 – Alan Paton, South African liberal political activist and author of the acclaimed novel Cry the Beloved Country.
1921 – Gory Guerrero, professional wrestler and father of the more famous and now deceased Eddie.
1942 – Clarence Clemons, American musician best known as the saxophonist in Bruce Springsteen’s E Street Band.
1971 – Mary J. Blige, American singer
1972 – Amanda Peet, American actress
1978 – Emile Heskey, English footballer
1981 – Jamelia, English singer

Thanks for the info Wikipedia.

Let me know if you’d like me to add a friend, family member or little ol’ you to our daily birthday lists of (famous) people. Mail me names, years of birth, and what makes you or them famous.